I know, I know - the time spans between posts are getting longer and longer. I've had so much going on this year that by the time I sit down to relax, I don't feel like blogging. I don't think anyone reads here anymore (which is fine since I rarely write!) but I'll update anyway.

I've still been working on the house. It's been a challenge, to say the very least. We've spent hours upon hours painting and cleaning. We've laid carpet. We've laid tile. We've mowed and edged and torn plants from the soil. We've dismantled a pond (in the front yard, of all places). We've built (from scratch!) and hung kitchen cabinet doors. Yesterday, we spent the evening building a wall (which is finished except the molding).

The home improvement store where I've shopped for the renovation supplies has fucked up my service so much that I think I've spoken with nearly every manager employed at that particular branch. Between inaccurate information and ordering incorrect parts, the employees have made it into the top 10 on my idiot list. They probably started cringing when they saw me walk toward their departments. There is one part we still have to pick up for our shower, and even that took over a month in order to get the correct one. I have very honestly fought the taste for violence in dealing with those people and will be glad when I don't have to deal with that store again. To say the least, I've started shopping at Home Depot, instead.

This past year, there have been family dramas (nothing new there), financial worries, memorial services, run-ins with old flames, drama-loving neighbors, chiropractic visits, a stray cat sneaking into the house constantly, inadequate sleep, anxiety and a countless number of minor injuries sustained while renovating the house.

The funeral weirdness did pass, as I'd hoped. The man's passing still saddens me, however. His girlfriend is struggling terribly and, as much as I want to help, I realize there is nothing more I can do. I've offered what I have to give and it has been taken, so that is enough even if it isn't. It's just difficult for me to watch another person suffer and be unable to give her relief. Too empathetic sometimes, perhaps.

Oh, and I'm having several moles on my back and shoulder removed, which worries me a bit. I used tanning beds in my oh, so stupid late teens. I never had many moles and these have sprouted within the past few years (except one that's been there since my teens). They're likely nothing to be concerned about but... I'll feel better if/when they're gone and I'm told they're absolutely 100% benign. While I'm phobic of vomit/ing, I'm not a hypochondriac. I just know that I'm at a higher risk for skin cancer due to the tanning beds and sheer number of years that I baked in the sun when I was younger. And fucking around with suspicious looking moles is just stupid when they can simply be removed before they cause a problem. Highly preventable and easily taken care of.

Speaking of vomit-related fear, I'm still putting off the laparoscopy suggested by my GYN. Suspected endometriosis, which would explain my menstrual issues. When I asked about having tubal ligation, she told me she could do it in the same surgery with no problem. I do want permanent birth control (no need for babies as crazy as I am) but the surgery is frightening. I still don't want to do it, and for what is probably the most ridiculous reason on the face of the planet. I'm terrified of waking up sick from the anesthetics. Stupid phobia, yep. So, I still feel like my insides are falling out every month and I still worry about pregnancy. Chris is snipped; however, he had swimmers for a long while after the procedure so relying solely on his vasectomy is a bit risky. Pregnancy after both of us being fixed is still extremely remotely possible but highly unlikely. So, more worries on top of all the others.

In a nutshell, I'm fucking tired. And my chiropractor will likely yell at me again at my next visit.

I find that this video, for reasons I can not begin to grasp, still makes me feel better. I could probably watch it for half an hour at a time without realizing how much time has passed.

Therapy, anyone?